Jerry was a race car driver
And he drove so goddamned fast
He never did win no checkered flag
But he never did come in last
Jerry was a race car driver
He'd say "El Sob number one"
With a bocephus sticker
On his 442 he'd light 'em up
Just for fun

Captain Pierce was a fireman
Richmond engine #3
I'll be a wealthy man when I get
A dime for all the things that
Man taught to me
Captain Pierce was a strong man
Strong as any man alive
It stuck in his craw that they
Made him retire at the age of 65

Jerry was a race car driver
22 years old
Had too many cold beers one night
And wrapped himself around a telephone pole.



Thanks to Richard Elliott for correcting these lyrics]